So tired of anxiety
Like, I envy people who can have something small go wrong and not think the absolute worst. Soooooomething I need to work on…
and i should try yoga
that too
I really like when people are a little harder to get to know, and a little quieter at first. When someone is more reserved and then starts letting you into their world it is so much more special, and more real in a sense because they aren’t throwing themselves at you or trying to impress you at all. So if they do start to like you, in a friend way or more you know it is organic and that they truly do enjoy your time and company - cause they don’t need the attention, but want it from you. People like that make my heart skip a beat.
I’ve been so anxious lately and stressed, and it sometimes seems like everything is going wrong.
It’s moments like this where I notice my weakpoints but also count my blessings. I am sitting here worried about tests when some people cannot even afford college, when marathon runners are legless and lost loved ones…I feel selfish. I am lucky to have family that loves and supports me, my health that i oh so too often worry about (hypochondriac) and I have a great job and good friends.
Just things to keep in mind when I’m sitting here wondering why people don’t like me, people leave my life so easily, why i always care more and such. I hate that I always seem to be hurt because I “gave a shit” but hey, I’m glad I could be there for someone and care for them.
My life isn’t terrible but sometimes I overreact, and that’s because of my anxiety and never ending worrying. I’ve gotten so much better with it this year but not being on anxiety meds for the last few months is definitely kicking in. So I’ll be back on those and moving forward!
positivity is the best policy
rant sry
Is this real life?
Am i actually possibly going to get the answers I’ve been waiting for 6 months for?
I can’t believe you’re responding to me
AHHHHHHH. WHAT IS LIFE
I can’t deal with clingy, needy people. I’m a nice person…but I mean like RIDICULOUSLY needy and constantly in need of approval. It is sofa king annoying please stop
this day and week has been shit.
I feel like I can’t win at work. I try SO hard to make everything i do perfect.. confirmations, emails, I even spend extra hours there. But somehow I keep fucking up. Yesterday at my event (not my fault) the staging was wrong…but we got it fixed. today i thought someone was hacking my savings and finished my work kinda late so i took a parking pass from work and hung it on my rearview mirror. I thought that it was okay because they literally just sit there and I had heard a friend of mine say she used it to park on campus for like a week. I mentioned it to the other girl in the office and she made it seem like it was okay. so i parked, go to class, and come out of class to 7 texts from my boss telling me my cars getting towed, she’s mad, and i could get fired. for doing something i didnt even know was wrong…………..I could get F I R E D. so i get to my car…… move it. and bawl my eyes out for an hour once i get to the right lot and call her in tears.. left her a message explaining that i didnt know and it was a stupid mistake and i was so sorry.
so i call my mom bawling and shes like “kelly you need to relax, you took a parking pass, you didnt commit murder or rob a bank and if they fire you then you don’t deserve to be there because you do great work” and she’s right… i’m a perfectionist at work and i care way too much about how im perceived it was just a mistake and my boss is making it seem like the end of the world and it hurts so bad. “this is a serious issue, we will talk about this when i get back”
the fact that she knew i was bawling my eyes out and didnt mean to do anything…… if i had known it was so serious i would never have done it. ID NEVER RISK MY JOB. id take a 100 dollar ticket over that..
it’s frustrating that someone who KNOWS me is basically telling me to feel like shit about it. I beat myself up so bad about things like this and i figured she realize. on the scale of things it’s small…it was a mistake. and its stupid. i just wish i was one of those people who could make a mistake and then say welp, its done, nothing i can do, if they want to fire me so be it but im a good worker.
Now i feel more like that……..but at first i was having a breakdown. I hate hate hate that i did something that could “get me fired” by parking in the wrong spot……
i feel like absolute death. been sick and puking since 7 AM and can’t even hold water down…
:( i’m the sickest koala fuck. im gonna get a movie and die now
by die i mean sleep the day away. ugh
march is soon. this is terrifying. ONLY A FEW MONTHS TILL WARM WEATHER. DIET DIET DIET AHH
summer motivation alkdsjfakdj
it’s kinda exciting when you get pumped up to get in shape but it’s so easy to fall out of it. LEGGO GOALS. SUMMER 2K13
aLSO.
got 3 Victoria secret magazines in the mail. Some swimsuits are already being advertised..Looks like I have some extreme summer motivation!
#gymtime
